Author: halfcnote

Tybee Island Burn

Tonight on the drive home, aside from counting how many times John Tesh could say his own name in 40 minutes (20), I was humored to hear Rick Springfield’s song, Jesse’s Girl.  Flashbacks came from that summer it first came out.

It was 1981 and I was not quite 20, ready to take on some of my own adventures.   Recall from a previous entry that my family adventures usually end up in predicaments.

A solo drive to Tybee Island Beach was in order.  Tybee was the beach we grew up on before it became the celeb magnet it is today.

I packed up my 1968 canary yellow Triumph TR250, with its red wall tires and no speedometer to head to the beach.

Of course at that age, my idea of packing up involved a bathing suit, towel, one change of clothing and a cooler filled with iced Mello Yellow.

I had recently lost a good deal of weight and was going to be sporting a two piece suit for the first time since I was probably, oh – five.

Before I pulled out of the driveway, my mother admonished me to be careful, watch the road and not get burned.

The ride down was great.  It was the first time I had traveled any real distance in the car by myself.  My parents didn’t allow us to get driver’s licenses until we hit 17 and had taken driver’s ed. I remember feeling very accomplished.

The top was down and freedom sang in the wind. I kept with the traffic to keep an even speed.  The police tend to be attracted to bright yellow sports cars almost as much as the hello, officer red ones and my parents would have killed me if I came home with a little blue slip.

Classical music blared from the cassette deck.  How mature and sophisticated.

I didn’t even let the kids in the Statesboro McDonald’s, who so rudely asked if I was a boy or a girl get me down.  I simply opened the door of my cool sports car and pretended to be from some European country and didn’t speak English.  I peeled out of the lot laughing at my genius.

I arrived at the beach around 10am, set up my towel and cooler, stripped down to my awesome red and white two piece bathing suit and proceeded to fry myself during the four hours of most direct sunlight one is now cautioned to stay out of.

Never touched the water.  Nope.  Peter Benchley had seen to the end of my ocean swimming days in 1974.  I had a hardback first edition of Jaws and whatever my imagination didn’t fill in from the book, the movie sealed a year later, despite the fact there hadn’t been an observed shark off the coast of Georgia since 1932.

I dutifully turned over every 15 – 30 minutes and remembered to stay hydrated by downing several of the Mello Yellows.  Nineteen year olds can be rather stupid.

Jesse’s Girl played several times that afternoon on radios across the beach.  I seem to recall having a bit of a conversation with a cute guy concerning the catchy tune.  Strike one – talking to strangers on the beach, not safe.

Around 2pm, I called it quits.  I mean, there’s only so much basking one can do.  I think I had finished my book, too. I packed up my stuff, pulled on my clothes, made the requisite visit to Chu’s and the Sugar Shack and then headed into Savannah.  I wanted to stop by and visit with my grandmother before I left for home.

Mama was delighted to see me and I her.  She tried to convince me to stay the night because it was a first Saturday in Savannah.  She and my aunt (of the desert drowning incident) were going to the Riverfront to walk around and enjoy the evening’s entertainment.

I said no, that I had to get on back.  I had promised my mom not to be too late getting home.  Ah, the days before cell phones and easy access. I could have called, but it would have cost my grandmother for the long distance.

So, I bid Mama farewell and got back on the road.  It wasn’t long before I started feeling strange.  My legs seemed tender inside my jeans and I felt unusually cold.  I pulled off the highway and put the top up on the canary.

I was so distracted that I ended up taking the turn off of I16 too early.  I took the 80 exit instead of the 17.  I’d never been on 80 by myself.  I basically had no idea where I was headed, but figured if I stayed on the highway I would eventually recognize something.  Strike two – watch the road.

It was about 10 miles down the 80 highway when the real chills started.  I couldn’t figure it out.  I was hot as blazes, but shivering.  My clothing was beginning to feel tight.

I was never so happy as to find out that 80 dumped right into Statesboro.  I was half way home.

The next hour or so on the road I don’t remember so well.  I do remember walking into the house, smiling that I had come full circle of my lone adventure and then seeing my mother’s face.  She seemed a bit, shall we say, perturbed.  Strike three – don’t get burned.

People, I was so red I was glowing.  You could feel the heat emanating from my body. And over the course of the next 24 hours, my extremities became so swollen that I could push my finger into my leg and the dent would stay. Blisters developed on my legs, back, chest and face.

I had second degree sunburn all over my two piece bathing suit exposed body.

My individual career as an adventurer had begun, marked by an incredibly stupid afternoon spent in the sun, a great car and a cheesy 80’s pop tune.

Life was good, painful, but good.  Jesse’s Girl will always make me smile…and wince.

Illegal Leopard

I was in a business meeting last week and was surprised and delighted to find OwL there.  OwL was once a producer on the albums of that band of legendary – nay, mythic status – Illegal Leopard, for which, I have the privilege of designing album covers.

OwL was involved with the band through Predator or Prey.  (For those few of you who don’t know the sequence of albums, this was the one just before Genius, Money Maker’s Farewell).  OwL’s decision to leave had as much to do with MM’s retirement as it did with the opportunity to take the TMS job when Juan’s sentence in China came to an unexpected, early end.

It was tough to see the tight knit group lose such valuable members at the same time, but MM was tired of the touring and the guys at that time weren’t ready to become an exclusive studio band.  Of course that changed later when Silk had to do that stint on the road gang in Mozambique.  He said he didn’t want to see another road for a long, long time.

Anyway, it was old home time at that meeting.  I forgot the original reason we all ended up there.  Ese and Homes were beside themselves with joy.  I mean its been over a year since we were all together, with the exception of Money Maker, who is still basking on the beaches of the Recherche Archipelago.  Dynamite couldn’t blast her off!

Can you imagine the energy with Ese, Homes, Silk, OwL, t’s Girl, Just Yule and Crooks in the same room? Wow.

We were having such a great time that we rolled over to OH’s grill so that we could all have a couple of drinks, (the soft kind for Crooks, please – didn’t want a repeat of the Mosquito Strut fiasco) and relax.

Oh, how I wish I had some recording equipment in there!  The impromptu unplugged stuff was magic.  Silk brought out his harmonica and they were off.

Home’s a cappella version of “My Cup is Gone” brought back such memories of the Bangladesh Uh-Oh Tour.  I caught Crooks wiping a tear from his eye.  “Gets me every time.”, he said.

They did a shortened version of “don’t listen, miss diane” with new vigor.  It was just plain awesome. It was if the South African ban had never been there.

Memories of Ese’s Cali City, 34 minutes of bone chilling guitar solo on “that stanks nasty” came flooding back.  The cops had to stop the stage stampede on that one.  Good times.

The guys said they are still involved in the litigation that’s tying up album sales.  R Costa is just not letting up, but they’re not too worried – they never are.  They are hard at work on the new tribute album.  Ese gave a quick few bars of the first cut, “Ted, Where You At?”  Poetry.

Ese said they talked Just Yule into sitting in on a couple of sessions. He had a short set recorded on his MP3 and let me listen. You could hear the trombone singing in the background, bringing out such depth to “out on love” and “Cara Muche”.  Man, JY can make that thing come to life!

I think the biggest single, however is going to be “¡JAMm”.  This cut is the culmination of all the years these guys have been together.  You can feel the mixing of their voices and the way the instruments play off each other so easily.  It’s a combination only those who know each other so deeply can reach.  The live version they performed for us that afternoon was simply amazing.

I think if they can get out from under that ball and chain created by the riots in Botswana after Homes, well, had his little public issue, this album is going to soar past the fabled stratosphere of the tour compilation disc, Change of Spots.

It was really hard to break away that afternoon, which by that time had become early evening.  But OwL had an early morning meeting with her new group, Bedroom Slippers.  Crooks had to get back to the Centennial operations.  They guys and I hung out a little while longer until Silk reminded Homes that he was his ride to his enforced training session that night.

Ese was off to an audition for a new triangle player, although we all knew there would never be another like Money Maker. Those leopard go-go boots would always be too sexy to fill.

It was such a great time.  I’m really looking forward to designing the cover for this new album, whether it gets to full distribution or not.  It’s going to have to be one sweet design because the magic these guys conjure just cannot be captured by reality.

I’ll make sure that OwL (and MM) get signed copies and hope that soon the rest of the world will once again be able to immerse themselves in the alchemy of Illegal Leopard.

(*Fingers crossed that the extradition committee is through debating by release date and the verdict goes in our favor!)


Tourette’s in the Night

Tourette’s in the night exclaiming cuss words

Wondering in the night

What were the chances I’d be hearing “f*ck!”

Before the night was through

Something in your voice was so unnerving

Something in your smile was so disturbing

Something in my heart told me I must wake you

Tourette’s in the night, two sleepy people

We were dozing in the night

Up to the moment when you said your first “G-d damn!”

Little did we know

Swears were just a nod away

A warm and cozy nap away

And ever since that night you had your surg’ry

Moaning words not right, in mixed company

It turned out so bright for Tourette’s in the night

*Sung to the tune Strangers in the Night with apologies to Charles Singleton & Eddie Snyder

Shit Dog

We have a little, brown dog.  He’s mostly white now, but originally he was brown.

He came into our lives in 1998. Our little black dog picked him out as a companion.

He was still a puppy and had been hit by a car, crushing the top part of his right femur and squishing his back paw.  The former owners dumped him at the vet’s office.

He has no ball in that hip joint and his foot looks like Wile E. Coyote’s after a run in with a steam roller.

He was still recovering when we took him home.  We lied to the vet’s office stating that we had fixed up a fenced in area behind our town home.  They weren’t going to let us take him without a fenced area. Ha.

We used to cart him around in a baby stroller because he couldn’t keep up on long walks.  We made the news a couple of times because of it.

His proper name is Dubone.  The family calls him Doobie.  It means teddy bear in Hebrew – honestly, look it up.  Once at a blessing of the animals ceremony, the priest (I know we’re Jewish) got confused and he was consecrated as Debbie.

I refer to him mainly as, Shit Dog.

Shit Dog was a perfect sidekick for our neurotic and reticent Elisheva.  We would walk them on a double leash and he would force her to go meet new people.  She, too had spent a great deal of her early life in a vet’s office.

He was cute as a button, with his forehead wrinkles and playful nature.  He was incredibly smart, but he also had a dark side.

This dark side made him do things that weren’t so nice.

He would leave ‘gifts’ in our bedroom draped with articles of my clothing.  He chewed out all the little buttons on top of my collection of baseball caps.  He chewed holes in my bras and ate a British published, but out-of-print, book that I had borrowed.  (That was fun to try and replace.) He ate my shoes.

One would think I did something to deserve this treatment, but no.  I was simply the chosen one.

We tried crating him, but he ate the crate – literally.  Chewed a hole straight through the side, leaving behind in strips the shirt we had put in there for cushioning.

He revealed a predilection for chocolate.  Yes, we were well aware that chocolate and dogs do not go together, however no one told the Shit Dog.

He has consumed in one sitting enough chocolate to kill a golden retriever. He had his stomach worked on for that one.  The vet’s personnel couldn’t get over the fact that he would eat the charcoal right out of their hands.  He’s done the same thing again and again.  We gave up taking him to the vet for it, he just burps, passes gas and goes on his merry way – sheepish, but happy.

Shit Dog also showed a love for garbage, the riper the better.  To this day we have to keep the garbage bag up on the counter so that he cannot get into it, however putting it up there does not guarantee that it will not be got.

We have seen the kitchen stool pushed up to the counter and the evidence strewn all about the house.  I told you he was intelligent.

He ate four muscle relaxers that had been packed in my luggage.  We called poison control on that one.  He just had a very good night’s sleep.

Shit Dog was introduced to a new nasty habit of consuming other animals defecation, in particular Elisheva’s.  This was a trait taught to him by another dog who briefly resided in our home before letting her depression get the better of her and committing suicide.

I haven’t let him lick me in years.

We found out this year after Elisheva passed away from Alzheimer’s that Shit Dog had become partially deaf from age.  She had been signaling and leading him around.

He has always been a bit high strung, the chihuahua part of him, I suppose.  After a brief period of mourning for Elisheva, Shit Dog’s anxiety issues came on full tilt. We always said he needed to be the first to go.

Our neighbor, a lovely woman from Belgium, who survived the London Blitz called to let us know (how kind), that Shit Dog was barking and howling through the day when we weren’t home.  Since we have been through animal control issues with said neighbor before, we weren’t too concerned at first.  But I happen to witness the behavior first hand one day.

He did indeed howl, incessantly. He’s now on a mother’s little helper aptly named Reconcile®.

He’s also on oral chemotherapy. Shit Dog was diagnosed with bladder cancer this year.

There’s been some changes.  He thinks he has to urinate a good bit – more so than standard for a puffed up, little, male dog, but he really doesn’t.  He tires more easily and he does’t wrap up in his blankets like he used to do, but other things remain the same.

He will still gulp down any unguarded chocolate milk.  And out of the past, oh six weeks, he’s probably eaten the garbage about four times. The defecation eating ended with Elisheva.

We don’t worry about it anymore.  We figure at this point, he’ll go satisfied. Damn Shit Dog.

Don’t drop your cone

I confess.  I’m selfish.

Sometimes I like a treat all to myself.

I blame my mother.

My mother is a champion speed ice cream eater.  She can consume an ice cream cone in under a minute.  You could get brain freeze just watching her.

One may ask why she would develop this particular talent.  Easy.

My mother had four children in a nine year span and she likes ice cream.

And as we all know, mom’s are somehow contractually obligated to release their cones to the child who drops their ice cream cone.

She blames her mother.

Seems that when my mom was in grade school, her mother would wait for the Krispy Kreme man to deliver to the store across the street from their house.  When the fresh doughnuts were delivered, Mama would run across and buy three for a dime.

And eat them all.

I guess there are some genetics that can’t be denied.

Drowning in the Desert

We were living in Phoenix, Arizona at the time.  My grandmother and aunt were out visiting from Savannah.

Mama and Tricia’s visits were always an excuse to go someplace interesting.  We’d covered the Grand Canyon, Montezuma’s Castle, Old Tucson and various other sites during their previous cross country vacations.

Now, let me state here that our family is prone to adventures.  Adventures being a relative term for getting caught in unusual predicaments. So when we had a trip planned to go tubing down the Salt River in the month of May, it was pretty much a done deal that something was going to happen.

In May, the mountain snow is still melting and pouring into the river, raising the water levels and increasing the current strength.  But what’s a little extra water, eh?

We were my grandmother, aunt, mom, older brother & his then wife, older sister, younger brother and me.  A stalwart band of eight ranging in age from 61 to 9 and ready to conquer the river.

We tied a series of inner tubes together in a circle with a free floating one in the middle, holding our cooler.  The cooler was of the type that are hard to find now a days.  It had a removable top and a dimpled aluminum handle.  It was the perfect size to shove in the inner tube.  It held our drinks, the camera and my grandmother’s asthma medication.

It really was a beautiful day.  The sky was brilliant blue, the air was clear, the scenery was breathtaking even for an exited eleven year old.  We saw wild horses grazing on the banks between old, gnarled mesquite trees.  Kodak moments abounded.

I remember the water being slightly chilly in the beginning, snow run-off remember?  There were spots where we had to get out and push ourselves off the shoals because the water was too shallow to float us down river.

We hit a few, very small rapids, just enough to invigorate us and give us something to brag about later. But nothing to really build any anxiety.

On a couple of occasions the current would direct us toward the face of the mountains.  Those who were on the rock side would simply turn around, stick out their feet and push off sending us back out to the center of the river and happily on our way.  So much for the powerful currents.

We heard the roar before we ever came around the bend.

We expected to see another set of the rapids we had laughingly tripped across earlier, but instead we were confronted with a swirling, churning eddy drawing us to the mountain face.  The roar of the water filled our ears.

The whirlpool had been formed by the incredible undercurrent meeting the mountain face and a huge outcropping of the old mesquite trees.  As before those facing the rocks steadied themselves to push off.

Each of us has their own story as to what happened after we hit the mountain.

My sister and sister-in-law were hurled standing into the trees.  They said they never touched the water except for where it lapped up between the low growing branches that brushed the river.

My mother, younger brother, aunt and grandmother, who by the way couldn’t swim, were knocked out of their inner tubes and around the mass of main tree roots and branches and were able to guide themselves into the shore line or grab another to help pull them in.

My older brother and I were flipped into the roots of the mesquite trees. He was caught by the ankle in the tangled mess.  I was caught in the undercurrent desperately trying to hold on to the roots, but was torn away by the force of the water.

I was shot out into the middle of the river, alone.

My glasses were gone. I had slices across my fingers and palms where I had tried to grab the roots and my throat was already getting raw. Apparently when I’m in a panic, I scream, “Mommy!”  Nice to know.

Incredibly, there were patches in the river where I could touch the rocky bottom.  My family on the shore line having heard my frantic cries directed me to drag my feet.  I slowed some, but lost my shoes.  I was a strong swimmer but not strong enough to counteract the current.

The original flotilla of inner tubes was still hanging in the eddy, caught right where we hit, however the free floating one containing the cooler was thrown clear at some point.  This is why I remember the cooler in such detail, it became my life saver.  I grabbed it as it floated by minus the top and contents.

Meanwhile, my older brother was disentangling himself from the underwater roots.  He had to remove his shoes in order to loosen his ankles and reach the top of the water.

When he came up, my mother began shouting, “Get Carol! Get Carol!” and pointing to me in the river.  No one had any idea of what he had just been through.

My brother was my hero once again that day.  He swam out to me and was able to bully through the current to get us to shore.  Some strangers who were on the banks of the river helped haul us in.

Everyone was safe.

After it was all said and done, each story came out.

There was the horse head that my sister-in-law pulled up thinking it was one of us stuck in the trees.

There was my grandmother determined to get to the surface and as she said “float all the way down the river if she had to.”  She was a champion floater.

There was my younger brother who said that when he opened his eyes it looked like a toilet flushing all around him – guess who was the nine year old.

There was my older brother, who said that he was not going to let that tree hold him down to drown, especially since he had the car keys in his pocket! We appreciated that.

Then there was that moment standing on the embankment when we all gathered together to physically reassure ourselves that we were okay. As we looked out on to the river, the lid to the cooler popped up from under the water.  It had been trapped for the entire time.

I don’t think most of us really appreciated how frightening the whole thing was until years went by and the stories were told and retold. One of those laugh until you cry then take a breath and say, “wow” in a hushed tone things.

Last year all of us were on a river again.  This time in August and we were in north Georgia. We were minus a couple of our original party, my grandmother who passed away in 1989 and the long ago sister-in-law, but we had gained a wonderful new set of adventurers: both of my brothers’ wives, their daughters, my sister’s husband, my partner and son.

It really was a beautiful day.  The sky was brilliant blue, the air was clear, the scenery was lovely for a slightly more jaded 49 year old. We saw tourists from around the world in brightly coloured inner tubes.  Photograph ops were all around.

The most dramatic thing that happened was getting stuck on a rock outcropping because the water level was so low on the drought beleaguered Chattahoochee.  The only roar heard was that of children’s laughter.

An unusual predicament indeed.

Survivors

Enter, the Roach

 

In my home, I am the killer of bugs.

To be accurate though, I should say I am the killer of roaches.  Other bugs and insects often have a second chance in our home, but roaches no.

I have been roused from deep slumber to eradicate an insect that had all my family members screaming and literally standing on furniture.  Yes, it happens in real life.

I admit that I do not relish my title at times.  I have been known to recoil with a yelp when taken by surprise by a shifty bug, as in the other night when I felt something on my thigh and reacted with a sharp intake of breath and a swipe sending the creature sailing across the room.

But for the most part I do my duty with stoic efficiency.

The other day my partner and son were out, she teaching and he attending intellectual day camp, so I was sitting on the sofa reading.  Out the corner of my eye, I saw a flicker of movement.

I turned to look and there was one of the largest roaches I had ever seen in my life crawling sideways across our barrister case.  This was no water bug or palmetto bug, no this was a full grown, beauty of a cockroach.

Now, when one sees a roach of this magnitude, it does give one pause.

First came the thought, “Wow, that really is a big roach.”   The second thought was I was glad my family was not here for this one.

My intellect told me that I was disproportionally larger than the insect.  I knew that it would not come at me with dripping fangs and a hypnotizing stare.  I knew that it had been driven inside by the intense heat of the day and was just looking for relief.  I also knew that it had to die.

I shuddered to think if this giant prehistoric scavenger escaped to roam free and was discovered by any other member of my family.

I am not tremendously afraid of insects. I have a healthy respect for most and can find some quite interesting.

Arachnids on the other hand, I do not tolerate in my general vicinity, at all.  A result of being bitten on the face by, and I quote, “an aggressive house spider’, that sent me to the emergency room and ultimately left two divots in my cheek.  If they hang around outside fine; that’s their domain – just stay off my grill and thresholds and we can live in peace, but come into my house or vehicle; the kid gloves are off.

But once again, I digress.  Back to the enormous roach in my house.

I had to devise a plan of action because as we all know roaches are tricky things.  They flatten themselves out and scoot through the tiniest of cracks.  Once false move and that sucker was going to be inside the barrister case taunting me from behind glass.

The problem was it was on the glass by this point.  My first weapon of choice would not be available for use, although I’m pretty sure I could get away with breaking the glass with my shoe once I revealed the impressive size of the intruder.

No, I had to come with an alternate weapon of destruction.

Did I mention that the living room was in a state of disarray (more so than usual, my smarty pants friends)?  Our a/c was on the fritz having leaked onto the carpet so all of our furniture was pushed into the center of the room making it a bit difficult to navigate.

This was not going to be an easy target.

It was a lose-lose situation. If I moved too fast it was behind the glass dancing and wiggling it’s antennae at me; if I moved too slowly it would meander into the tightly packed heap of articles out of striking distance where it would later pop out and scare several years off my partner and son.

I had to develop some sort of action plan quickly.

My eyes finally spotted a piece of copy paper that could be reached somewhat easily.  Not the best weapon since its not very flexible and has the potential for letting the roach flatten out and escaping, but it was the best I could find in the moment of hunt.

I snuck up on the creature with hand hovering low.  I then did the quick cover and squish move, however as many of you other bug killers know, roaches don’t always squish on the first try.

Headless and one wing cocked at an odd angle, the roach fought back.

Periplaneta americana Linnaeus turned around and came at me.

I confess that I did the ‘ew, ick, gross, watch out’ dance for just a second, hopping from foot to foot.  But then my inner hunter came out and said, “Bring it on!”.   La Cucaracha didn’t stand a chance.

I steeled myself for the final showdown.  My breath quickened and my muscles drew taut.  Determination overtook my being.  I would not be defeated by this germ carrier.

Down came the paper with a mighty thrust and the feisty little creature was literally putty in my hands.  Good had triumphed once again.

My family would never know the danger from which they had been saved.

But, that’s the life of the bug killer.

Drive In

We went to see Disney’s Cars 2 (overly long) this weekend and that got me thinking about my own early driving history.

I found a letter from my father not too long ago, which I will share in a couple of weeks on his birthday, but one line in it reminded me of how young I was when I started driving.

“In 1981 dollars the 50 ft drive would cost about $225,000 per mile”.

As you can well imagine, my first driving experience wasn’t a great success.

It was in Memphis, Tennessee, 1963 and our family had grown to four kids. My parents were out looking at houses to fit their extended brood. My younger brother and I had been placed in the front seat of the car while my parents finished speaking with the real estate agent.

In those days there were no requisite car seats. An enterprising youngster could stand on the broad bench seat, play with the radio and pretend to drive.

While my parents talked, I tried my hand at driving. So what did I do?  I mimicked what I had seen.  Put the imaginary key in, grab the wheel give it few turns back and forth with some zoom, zoom sound effects and then…shift.

One other note about cars back then, gears didn’t necessarily lock on automatic transmissions when the car was stopped and the key removed.

Now a geography lesson, parts of Memphis are quite hilly.  Many houses are built with good sloping driveways.  We happened to be parked on one.  When I shifted the gear lever, it went from park to neutral quite smoothly and my nine month old brother and I were off on our very first solo drive together.

I cannot imagine our parent’s horror as they watched their car starting down that hill and  carrying their two youngest children across a four lane street with oncoming traffic. I have visions of them doing the slow motion outreach, “Nooooooo….!”.

It was okay though, there was a house across that street to stop us.

The car crashed into the front of the house just under a large picture window.

We were fine. My brother didn’t even roll off the front seat.

Surprisingly, my dad says the car wasn’t damaged.  They sure don’t make ‘em like that anymore.

The our joy ride blockade didn’t fare as well, hence the inflationary comment above.  Would loved to have seen that insurance report write up.

I have three memories from the event.  Seeing Mom & Dad outside of the car, being pulled out of the car and the physical sensation that equates to “Wheeeeee!”.

My driving career was somewhat curtailed until legal driving age after that.  But I’ll be danged I didn’t develop quite a love for roller coasters.   

 

 

 

Gay? Marriage

An old acquaintance approached me at the Pride parade today.  She was proudly wearing her I ♥ New York t-shirt.

She had come to the parade to show her support of her cousin still living in NYC and possibly her son, but we didn’t go there.

When we worked together we never discussed politics or sexual orientation.  I was semi-closeted at the time because it was a government job and knew the opinions of my superiors at the time.  I know, I know., but let’s get real – I needed the job.

Tiger, as she was called must have known something was up because she made the comment to me once, “I really like watching Queer as Folk”.  I replied, “That’s nice, don’t watch it myself, but okay.”  My partner will tell you, I’m not the quickest to catch on to things.

It was a quiet outreach, a sort of underground communique that let me know that I had an ally and I did appreciate it despite my inelegant response.

But today at our home town parade, Tiger came up to me and reintroduced herself and we were able to speak openly and with matter of fact about how proud she was of New York of passing the legalization of gay marriage bill. Time and age had given us both confidence.

Another friend posted a great photograph of a statement that also hit home with the theme of this weekend.  It reminded me that Pride is not only about having the confidence about being oneself and the camaraderie of having all those people of like around you, but to me its also about showing to the rest of the world that we are no different just because of who we love.

I go to work everyday to support my family.  We pay taxes and worry about our children’s education and future.  We have pets and have memberships to the YMCA.  We have cranky days and days full of wonderment. We teach, we learn, we are good citizens and bad ones, too.  The full gamut of the rainbow of humanity.

We are just people.

 It’s not gay marriage; it’s just marriage, as simple and as complicated as everyone else’s.

It’s taken 42 years since Stonewall to get six states to agree.  I hope that my blog name will not be fullcnote before the rest of the country follows suite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pride

On June 27, 1969, the winds of fate gathered and the patrons of Greenwich Village’s Stonewall Inn fought back.  The seeds of Pride were planted.

And on this Saturday, 42 years after the riots on Christopher Street, the second annual Pride Parade and Festival will be held in our fair city.

There will be other parades and festivals more elaborate and attended by thousands around the world. I’ve been to the great parade and festival in Atlanta many times before.  I’ve even been in that parade, but there is nothing to compare to the emotion and inspiration of having this celebration in my own town.

My family and I had been absent from the Pride celebrations for several years until last year.

We would ordinarily choose not to go to the parade because number one it’s hot as blazes in Georgia in June, especially standing in a crowd of thousands and two, as parents we acknowledge that the Atlanta parade can be for more mature audiences, much as Mardi Gras is.

The festival, however had always been wonderful for any age group and we’d always had a great time there.  Except possibly the time our daughter kept fainting, but that was due to the heat and hypoglycemia, not the atmosphere.

The change came when our son was not quite 5 years old.  He was floating on cloud nine because he had gotten so many compliments on his Spiderman costume he chose to wear all day. It had been a good day at the festival despite the usual afternoon showers and fierce southern humidity.

We were tiredly trooping back to our car for the long ride home and it was then that some lovely, Southern gentleman decided that he needed to vent his hostility over our family unit.  This frightened our son, who couldn’t possibly understand that someone would hate his family. He clamored into my arms, buried his face into my shoulder and wouldn’t come out until we were well out of earshot.

If you want to demonstrate your narrow mind to adults that’s one thing, but to take it out on small children – shame on you.

Try to explain to a 4 year old, who has known only love and acceptance, that there are some people in the world who hate him because he has two moms.  Even his spidey powers couldn’t protect him that day in Atlanta.  It broke our hearts.

This combined with the heat (my partner says, yeah – give the gays the hottest damn month of the year to celebrate) gave us the excuse to stay home when Pride came around.

Then our very conventional, conservative town allowed something magical to happen. It granted a permit for a Pride parade.

We decided to go still wary about attending another arena where our son could be subjected to the vitriol of others, but he has in the past four years demonstrated a strength of character that we thought would sustain him if we were confronted again.

Boy, were we surprised, so brilliantly surprised.

The parade was filled with families and friends.  Our son saw his school mates with their straight parents and caught candy thrown by beautiful, well heeled drag queens.The festival was full of music, balloons and games designed for the kids to play.

Smiles abounded. Words of encouragement and love were spoken by supporters.  Tears of joy and wonder were spilled. Many exclaimed with choked voices that they didn’t think they would ever see the day our town celebrated its GLBT citizens with such kindness.

Oh, there were the odd protesters (and some were really odd), but all were welcomed and given and gave respect even when they were holding placards damning us to eternal fire.

In the gay/lesbian community, we often refer to each other as ‘family’.  That Saturday in June of last year was about family. We are looking forward to another Saturday spent with family this year.

I am so proud of my city and the fantastic people who made this happen.  My family thanks you.

*http://socialistalternative.org/literature/stonewall.html  (good site to visit for information on Stonewall.)

The beauty of a rainbow after a storm.